i have weirdly vivid dreams

and this was last night's winner:

so jon and kate gosselin had divorced.

let me stop here and say if you don't know who jon and kate are, then don't even bother reading the rest of this.

ahem.

jon and kate had divorced, and each received four kids. kate was shacking up with gordon ramsay (who is so super hot), and they decided that they wanted to have their own child. so kate gets pregnant and goes to the doctor who tells her that she is carrying six babies again. she says that's fine, but as she goes to leave the doctor says "no, you can't leave - you're really carrying 14! you have to reduce!!" kate turns around and tells him "i don't reduce, you murdering bastard!" and knocks everything off this one tiny bookshelf in the room.
anyway, she runs into the living room of the doctor's office (stay with me) where her four kids have been playing mario-kart, and hounds everyone outside. gordon has just finished loading a uhaul and is wearing a blue tank top and khaki cargo shorts (have i mentioned i think he's hot yet?). she runs up to him and tells him that they're going to have six babies. he replies "yah, maybe if i put them on a london broil." it is at this point that they all load up in the uhaul and leave.
and more importantly, my alarm goes off.

maybe i shouldn't eat after 6? or maybe i should stay away from tv after 8?